It goes a bit against the grain, but what if we changed our thinking to “how would I feel if I were in my child’s shoes”, rather than expecting them to behave in a certain way?
Toddlers do not have the capacity to always control their emotions and behaviour. You may ask them what seems like an entirely reasonable request, and they may react in a completely unexpected (often over-exaggerated) way. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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But what if instead of getting frustrated with their emotional response, we considered what might have been behind that?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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❣️Did the request interrupt their activity?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
❣️Did they have a particularly challenging day?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
❣️Does the request lead to any separation from you?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
❣️Are they more tired than usual?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
❣️Does the request allow your toddler any autonomy?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
❣️Do they need a hug or some connection time?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Approaching each situation with understanding of your child’s position (which is something you would likely do when interacting with another adult) can help de-escalate tantrums and outbursts, and can even help you avoid them entirely. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Children are people too 💕
