October, 2021

1 min read

All feelings are valid feelings

👏🏼 ALL 👏🏼 FEELINGS 👏🏼 ARE 👏🏼 VALID 👏🏼 FEELINGS

I don’t blame adults who do this. I get it. It’s how many of us (and definitely our parents) were raised. But just because that’s the way it’s always been, does not make it right.

What are we teaching children by downplaying the value of their emotions?

👉🏼 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵
👉🏼 𝘌𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘥𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 (𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘦 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘥𝘶𝘭𝘵, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥’𝘴 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦)

We need to collectively be better at recognizing that our children deserve space for healthy emotional expression. If we don’t make space for this, we are collectively responsible for perpetuating the cycle of raising adults who lack emotional intelligence.

So what does this look like?

✔️Validate feelings and allow the expression of those feelings (even if it seems trivial, unimportant or downright ridiculous to you as an adult)
✔️ Empathize with the emotion
✔️ Provide support
❌ Do not rationalize away the feelings
❌ Do not suggest that happier emotions are more desirable or are a better use of their time
❌ Do not use distraction to move your child away from working through their feelings

✨ Have you ever had to intervene when another person was telling your child how they should or shouldn’t feel? Tell me below!

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Cayla Solomon
Holistic Sleep Coach

Certified holistic sleep coach working with babies, children, and adults across Canada and worldwide. My approach is evidence-based and responsive — and never involves sleep training.

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Cayla Solomon
Holistic Sleep Coach

I’m Cayla Solomon — a certified holistic sleep coach specialising in responsive, root-cause sleep support for babies, children, and adults. I work with families and individuals across Canada and worldwide, and I’ve spent years studying why the standard sleep training advice so often fails the people it’s supposed to help. My approach draws on sleep science, attachment research, and the conviction that understanding your body — or your child’s — is always the first step. I don’t believe in one-size-fits-all solutions, and I’m not afraid to say so.

Letting Go: Why Secure Attachment Is the Root of Independence
Is It OK to Let My Child Sleep in My Bed? A Holistic Sleep Coach’s Take on Bedsharing and Night Wakings
The Truth About Sleep Training: Why It’s Never Too Late to Support Your Child’s Sleep Without Separation
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