Supporting big feelings

I’ll be the one to say what we are all thinking – ๐ญ๐š๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐œ๐ค. Sometimes our kids tantrum for things that are totally within reason, and other times, they seem totally illogical to us. And, more often than not, it just seems like a giant overreaction to an adult who has experience with futility, and who is able to problem solve.

But toddlers don’t have these skills yet! They need help to understand that it’s ๐จ๐ค๐š๐ฒ to have these big feelings, but that sometimes, we need to get frustrated and then move forward. They also need adult guidance to understand how best to divert the exploding energy that sometimes comes along with big feelings. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €
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๐’๐ฎ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐œ๐ก๐ข๐ฅ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฌ๐ž ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ž๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐จ๐ง๐ž ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐›๐ž๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ ๐ข๐Ÿ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ž ๐œ๐š๐ง ๐ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฆ. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €
Many of us were raised with the understanding that big feelings upset our parents, and we either had to make the feelings stop, or risk separation until we could control ourselves. Giving our children the space to express their emotion is not only critical in helping them to adapt to adversity, but it fosters a healthy relationship with emotions.โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €
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The next time your child has big feelings around something they cannot change, here are 4 steps to follow to support them:โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €
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โœจ Respond to the feelings, not to the behaviourโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €
โœจ Empathize with the emotionโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €
โœจ Support your child’s feelings and help them down regulateโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €
โœจ Once everyone is calm, address the behaviour and help find an alternate way of directing the erupting energy, if needed

Cayla

Cayla

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