I’ll be the one to say what we are all thinking – ๐ญ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐๐ค. Sometimes our kids tantrum for things that are totally within reason, and other times, they seem totally illogical to us. And, more often than not, it just seems like a giant overreaction to an adult who has experience with futility, and who is able to problem solve.
But toddlers don’t have these skills yet! They need help to understand that it’s ๐จ๐ค๐๐ฒ to have these big feelings, but that sometimes, we need to get frustrated and then move forward. They also need adult guidance to understand how best to divert the exploding energy that sometimes comes along with big feelings. โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
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๐๐ฎ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐ก๐ข๐ฅ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฌ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ ๐ข๐๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ ๐๐๐ง ๐ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฆ. โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
Many of us were raised with the understanding that big feelings upset our parents, and we either had to make the feelings stop, or risk separation until we could control ourselves. Giving our children the space to express their emotion is not only critical in helping them to adapt to adversity, but it fosters a healthy relationship with emotions.โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
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The next time your child has big feelings around something they cannot change, here are 4 steps to follow to support them:โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
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โจ Respond to the feelings, not to the behaviourโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โจ Empathize with the emotionโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โจ Support your child’s feelings and help them down regulateโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โจ Once everyone is calm, address the behaviour and help find an alternate way of directing the erupting energy, if needed
