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“When we use punishment, our children are robbed of the opportunity to develop their own inner discipline – the ability to act with integrity, wisdom, compassion, and mercy when there is no external force holding them accountable for what they do.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
-Barbara Coloroso, 𝘒𝘪𝘥𝘴 𝘈𝘳𝘦 𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘐𝘵!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Positive discipline is not something most of us experienced as children – time outs, sticker charts, consequences, and for some, spankings, were the ways our parents communicated with us the type of behaviour they expected from us. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The challenge with this approach is that it coerces a child into cooperation based on the fear of experiencing added separation, or additional punitive discipline. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I don’t blame parents of the 80s and 90s (and certainly before that) – they parented using techniques that made sense to them at the time, and in many cases, repeated a version of how they were parented. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Truth be told – until we really delved deeper into who we wanted to be as parents, we also parented using discipline and time outs. But, as we learned quickly, they didn’t feel right, and they certainly didn’t work.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The idea behind positive discipline is that when a child is treated respectfully (think: treat your child the way you would want to be treated), and has loving, age appropriate boundaries, they will develop their own internal discipline, and empathy for others. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Positive discipline allows a parent to strengthen the bond with the child. Punitive discipline weakens this connection. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What does discipline look like in your home? Are there things you’d like to change, but would like to learn more about?
