I know this is a bit of a radical statement, but hear me out: back in the 80s and 90s when I was in school, kids who bullied others were chastised for their ‘bad behaviour’. Bullies were seen as kids who were just mean spirited, who maybe didn’t have present parents, and who were attention seekers looking for a rise out of anyone they could get it from. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The thing is though – often, these bullies just have no way of expressing their emotions. As Dr. Gordon Neufeld and Dr. Gabor Maté point out in their book, 𝘏𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘒𝘪𝘥𝘴, getting tears from our children help teach them to express their emotions, cope with futility, and navigate change in the future. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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A bully who is able to find their tears – that is, helping them to express and accept their emotions – will give them the tools to be more in tune with the feelings of others as well, and will be social interactions more positive and less confrontational. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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How do you feel about tears? 💧💧
